Cowboy Thoughts
by DreamingFromASmallTown
Summary: Cowboy Bebop Song Fic Boom-Lay by Shinedown. Spike wakes up after his finally battle with Vicious, he stays their for a while thinking to himself of, Himself, Julia the Bebop crew. Done in Spike's view mainly. I have not watched Cowboy Bebop in a while but I love it! And I love Spike and don't like thinking he died at the end. First song fic ever! Gentle with reviews. Enjoy!


**Spike woke up looking up at that endless sky the stars shining bright. He was in the middle of nowhere. Alone. However, he always really felt alone, even when he was with the others of the bebop crew. None of them could understand. He kept his past to himself, it was easier that way, was safer that way. His past had caught up to him, his past was set to a close. His memories would still hunt him, but at least he could set them to some kind of peace in some sort of twisted grave in his mind. **

_I am the shadow, and the smoke in your eyes_

_I am the ghost, that hides in the night_

_Boom –lay Boom-lay BOOM!_

I know they have moved on, Jet, Faye, Ed, Ein. My time with them ended before I came here, before I left to face Vicious one last time. I'm not sad over it, I'm not worried for them, they're strong. They will be fine. The bebop crew days are over and here I am laying on the steps of just another battle.

_Wait, wait a minute take a s step back_

_You gotta think twice before you react_

_So stay, stay a little while_

_Because a promise not kept is the road to exile_

_Hey! What's the circumstance_

_You'll never be great without taking a chance so_

_Wait, you waited too long _

_Had your hands in your pocket_

_When shoulda been gone_

Julia, I hope you are at peace. I'll join you one day I hope, I just don't know when that day will be. I can't just kill myself though I wish I could bring myself to do so. But I'm a cowboy, I live for this hellish world. Though I did not always use too, I use to live for you. I wish I knew sooner that you did not betray me that night that we were meant to meet in the graveyard. We both had to run for our lives, we both were exiled from the Red Dragons for betraying them. But life works out in pretty fucked up ways doesn't it? Either way I love you still, you won't ever leave my mind.

_Boom-lay Boom-Lay BOOM!_

_One push is all you'll need_

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_A fist first philosophy _

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_We watch with wounded eyes_

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_So I hope you recognize_

I have recognized a lot living this life. From before joining the Red Dragons and after. My right eye sees the present long my left sees the past. How can I not recognize? I'm always seeing the polar opposite past and present seeing them equally. I can't hide from either I can't ignore either. I'm always moving through the present long always remembering the past. Funny you think I would have turned out better.

_I'm on the front line_

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning _

_I say goodbye to my weakness_

_So long to the regret _

_And now I see the world through diamond eyes_

My eyes are different from most one being my own long the other I gained in an accident. I don't regret anything in this life. I don't want anyone to think otherwise on that. I have made my own choices. I have made my mistakes, and done what little good I can for this world. But I'm still here even after everything. I'm still kicking, so I guess I have another story to start with this one at a close.

_Damn! Damn it all down_

_Took one to the chest without even a sound so_

_What! What are you worth?_

_The things you love or the people you hurt?_

_Hey! It's like déjà vu_

_A suicidal maniac without nothing to lose_

_So wait, it's the exception to the rule_

_Everyone of us is expendable _

One more explosion, one more bullet, I wonder what is going to be the death of me some times. I'm nothing special to this world or any of them for that fact. No one is. I have cared for more people than most would realize. I keep living keep sailing through the stars, one fight after another. Huh damn, with them gone I'm alone again. But I always feel alone. It's easier that way after all. It's alright then if you hurt someone, you don't have to worry about someone else judging you for it. Don't have to worry if you are taking someone else's life to keep your own. But most of all you don't have to worry about leaving them before they can leave you.

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_One push is all you'll need_

_Boom-lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_A fist first philosophy _

_Boom-Lay Boom-lay Boom!_

_We watch with wounded eyes_

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_

_So I hope you recognize _

I wonder where I'm meant to head now? I guess, I'll find out once I get a ship again, take off into the stars and go where ever the star lane leads me. I'll find a place for me one day, even if it means just drifting alone in space. I'll find a place, and when I do maybe I'll stop needing to fight. Huh, not likely though for me, I can't ever leave a fight and a fight can't ever leave me.

_I'm on the front line _

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning_

_I say goodbye to my weakness_

_So long to the regret _

_And now I see the world through diamond eyes_

I should get up. I should move from this spot, but my body and limbs just feel so damn heavy right now. Fuck I want a cig, maybe that would help. Yeah a cig sounds pretty good right now. But their just another sin to my list. But that's alright ain't like I'm perfect to this world by any means. No I'm just like anyone else in this world fighting his own battles and dealing with his own wounds.

_I'm on the front line _

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning_

_I say goodbye to my weakness_

_So long to the regret _

_And now I know that I'm alive_

_I'm on the front line_

_Don't worry I'll be fine _

_The story is just beginning_

_I say goodbye to my weakness_

_So long to the regret _

_And now I see the world thought diamond eyes_

**Spike put his hand into his pocket pulling out his pack of cigs. One left. He drew it out and set it to his lips crushing the pack in his hand, tossing it gently. He pulled out his lighter and flicked it, once, twice, three times….flame. He smirked lightly, setting it to the end of the cig and took a few puffs. The cig lighting up turning an orangey red, he slid his lighter back into his pocket. He slowly pushed himself up so he was sitting up. He looked up at the sky, watching as meteors suddenly filled the perfect black. **

_Every night of my life_

_I watch angels fall from the sky_

_Every time that the sun still sets_

_I pray they don't take mine_

Must be a theme for angels to fall tonight. I wonder if anyone will be watching the sky when I finally leave this world, and my star fades. I guess it won't really matter after all I'll be gone. But I ain't gone yet, I still got a long time of living before I'm knocking on heaven's door. I'll stay on the front line of my life and I'll keep fighting seeing the present to the right and the past to the left. But it's my life none the less.

_I'm on the front line_

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning_

_I say goodbye to the my weakness_

_So long to regret_

**Spike stood up still smoking his cig. He started down that stairs everyone else that had followed Vicious had left. They had probably left thinking that Vicious was dead along with him. He smirked at that fools did not know who they were dealing with. Spike took a long drag of his cig. He walked off not looking back, he had no need too, no need to see the destruction, no need to worry about someone shooting him in the back. He watched the meteor shower as he walked. He was ready for his new story to start, with all the new people to meet and new battles to fight.**

_I'm on the front line_

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning _

_I say goodbye to the regrets_

_And now I know that I'm alive._

I'm alive still. I have more to live in this world. So, I'm going to, I'm going to keep living, for Julia for Annie, Mao with everything you did for me, hell even for you Vicious. Your lives came to an end but I ain't with you guys, not yet. Nah not yet, I'm still a cowboy that's fucking for sure. I'm still Spike Spiegel, space cowboy and that isn't ever changing.

_I'm on the front line_

_Don't worry I'll be fine_

_The story is just beginning_

_I say goodbye to my weakness_

_So long to the regret_

_And now I see the world through diamond eyes_

See you Space Cowboy.

_Boom-Lay Boom-Lay Boom!_


End file.
